Today I left work at 5 and feeling discouraged. I have no idea why as my life is grand! I had to stop at the bank and deposit a check and attempted to deposit a second one when I was told they couldn't, for various reasons. For some reason, their refusal made me want to cry. The clerk at the station next to where I was at has been very nice to me in the past, making small talk and I was so NOT in the mood to talk to anyone for fear I would burst into tears, that I made sure not to look her way.
It wasn't the clerk's fault that they couldn't take the check and I wasn't even that upset about the check. It was the mood I was in. As I left, I tried to squeeze out a, "thanks, you too" to her "have a nice evening", but it was difficult.
As I walked to the place next door my mind started to cultivate a series of negative thoughts and fears. I knew that these things were fake, drummed up by my negative attitude and sensitive mood. The replacement principle popped into my head and I tried to think about something else or at least make a serious effort to not let my thoughts continue on the path they were heading. It worked.
I got home and some packages I had been expecting arrived! Although instead of excitement at opening them, I was mostly afraid to look at the finished product for fear it wasn't what I had hoped! Upon opening the items, I wasn't disappointed but was filled with these silly fears and doubts and insecurities. So, I moved on to picking up and vacuuming. I did put something together that I was excited about how it turned out and encouraged that something I wasn't sure what to do about was now resolved.
The house is cleaned and picked up and ready for Barb's return home (Mark and I pick her up tonight) and my nails are now painted, in preparation for getting my ring back tomorrow. It has been at the jeweler all week to fit the wedding band. I have missed it SO much!! My hand looks pretty normal without it since it has been without much longer than it has been with. But I think I'm almost just as excited to get it back as I was to get it in the first place ;)
Mark should be home soon and we're heading to Macaroni Grill for dinner. We discovered we can eat there for a reasonable amount of money and since I'm running early tomorrow, need a bit of a carbo load. Last week I tried to shove as much pasta in my body as I could fit before I got too full. It seemed silly (and was kind of annoying) but I knew that I'd be really hungry in the morning if I didn't work it correctly and it turned out just fine! That is one thing I don't like about running so far is that you have to be pretty serious about the food part before a long run. Getting hungry too early in a long run can be disasterious to finishing well or finishing at all!
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