Cheese and crakers saved my life...

I'm a firm believer in snacking. Well, for me anyway. I've been crabby for the past couple of hours and just had my favorite snack, a couple slices of cheddar cheese and Wheat Thins. Now I feel better. My stomach wasn't letting me focus on much. The gum I swallowed on my way home didn't tide it over very well.

Dilemma: I stopped at REI tonight to pick up shoes for my trip to Europe. Yes, the trip is still a little over 4 weeks away, but it's never too early to buy shoes. I currently don't own anything like these shoes (in black), so that's a good excuse to purchase. However, they aren't cheap and I'm trying save as much $$ for the trip as possible. I found out that the member dividend (or whatever you call it) will be available on the 27th of this month so thought I could wait until then. But I didn't. I'm not sure how much my return will be but decided I would use it up no matter what, probably on packets of GU or Shot Bloks for summer long runs. I'm giving myself a 24 hour period to decide about taking the shoes back and waiting a few weeks to purchase them. I was going to ask Mark, but he wasn't reachable by phone so I'll ask him when I see him. I LOVE the shoes though and I think they are more comfortable than anything else I own.

Today was ROUGH! I felt like an emotional roller coaster. Like the guy who wrote Psalm 139 (which I'm memorizing) he's all over the place, here are 4 verses in a row: "How precious are your thoughts about me O God, they cannot be numbered. I can't even count them all, they are more than the grains of sand. And when I wake up in the morning you are still with me. O God, if only you would destroy the wicked! Get out of my life you murderers!" He's all over the place! Praising God for his thoughts, then commenting on how he's around in the morning and then asking him to kill off the wicked. Makes me feel not so weird. I love memorizing scripture, it gives me lots of time to think and contemplate on what's being said.

Back to today, it was an emotionally up and down day. I felt like I was freaking out until about 11am when I realized I was in the middle of the 1-2 days during the month where I shouldn't think about much or make any decisions... stupid female hormones. Here's a recap: got up and was happy, drove to work and was getting sad, got all worked up throughout the morning, after lunch was more happy, afternoon was happy, finished my post-work workout and was really sad, finished buying shoes at REI and was confused and sad, called Barb on the way home and faked being happy enough that I started to feel better, got home and ate food and focused on addressing people's complaints about my current blog set up and tried not to get sad, finished my cheese and crackers and wrote this out and am more happy. Now I might go bust a move at DDR until Mark comes over, both things combined should help me be the happiest I've been all day.

I will add that I'm aware that things don't make me happy and I need to make sure I'm finding my joy and worth in God. This is another story for another day. I'm working on that, but feel like I fail miserably so right now awareness is about as good as it gets.